Thanks to all of you who sent emails about kicking the sugar habit. I am going to share more details here and answer some of your questions.
Most wanted to know ‘how’ this works now, or more specifically, what am I going to ‘do’ differently now.
First, the ‘reason’ this was so huge is that when I originally thought that sugar was a ‘no’ category, this created tremendous resistance around it. I literally felt like an alcoholic with it in that I could put it down for periods of time, but when I would pick it up again, I felt powerless to say no. I’ve heard people say that if they start in the morning with sugar, they want it all day long, for instance.
Now, to know that I reach for it primarily for anxiety, which is fear of the future/projected pain in the future, I can simply be aware of this and move back to the present. In this moment, I can take an action instead of triggering my lifelong habit and checking out again. When we are under the spell of habits, often we reach for them so quickly that we lose our conscious choice to do something different.
As I have allowed my mind to wander with this new epiphany, other thoughts came to me. My childhood abuse involved sweets…a reward of sorts. Children’s taste buds change around 7 and 8, and children naturally like sugar more when their taste buds change. My stepfather at the time was part deaf from working on airplanes for a living without proper headgear, and his voice boomed through the house startling my brother and me. We were terrified of talking in front of him, and for a long time, would whisper our requests into my mother’s ear.
Action has always been my safe haven. When I am moving, I feel empowered. I may not know all the details of where I am going, but I know I will be guided in the moment.
Fear trips a wire within each one of us and we choose fight, flight or freeze. When I was little, I would fight. As I grew older, I learned that fighting was not ‘acceptable’ at school, at home, with friends so I started to run away. By the time I hit my 20s, I realized running away was only prolonging the pain. However, I can readily see that I freeze on the big decisions in my life. I knew a year and a half into my first marriage I wanted to leave, and it took nearly 7 more years and 80 lbs. before I did it. I did the same thing again with switching careers. Oh, yes, I moved and did take action, but not in a proactive, empowered way.
I believe in the power of awareness so much because I realize that awareness offers us a key into the Self we truly are. Awareness offers us a gift to speak our truth and to live it, too.
What I will do differently now…I’ll use the tools I share with clients to acknowledge my fears, form an intention in alignment with what I most want to create and then come back to the present and take inspired action. The searing burn I felt on my left side the last two weeks held old energy, which I cleared. I often say…expand first unless you can’t keep moving. If you are stuck, clear and then begin again with a new intention.
The teacher teaches what she most needs to learn and remember!